I wonder if my subconscious is only at will to speak when I see myself in others?

September is going to be a fabulous month indeed! It's the month I find a new place to live, where ever that may be. It's the month Interpol comes out with their sophamore album, which includes A Time To Be So Small, which has kind of always been a favorite of mine. Dark and Sexy. It's also the month that I will be taking my next vacation. I want to go somewhere warm and dirty with air that is hard to breathe. I am going to quit my old job in September and find a new one also. I'm taking the money from my 401(k) from my old job and using it for my vacation. So I guess I'll be quitting before I leave on my vacation which I want to take Sept. 11th - 19th. It's 9 days. Extended vacation. Last time I took a week, 9 days will be the most time I've ever taken off from home. I want to disappear from here for a while. I want to pretend I'm someone more important than this. I want a lot of things. I have a few hopes and dreams and they are just now showing themselves to me. I'm not going to be young forever. My mortality has been on my mind for the last few days. It's creepy. I don't really like it, but it's inevitable I guess? Too bad I'm living for the future, but right now is kind of boring.

And he said to stop fidgeting with my keys...

If you had this much going on inside your mind all the time you'd fidget a lot too. I keep 90% of what I want to do and what I want to be and what I want to experience locked away from almost everyone. I used to think I was an open book, but the older I get the more I can see I only want to share parts of myself with certain people. The people that are fleeting in my life usually have the most impact. I usually open up to them more than I can with my friends and family mostly because I'm not really afraid of how they will see me. These people don't already have a preconcieved notion of who they think I am. One day I hope to find someone I can be me around all the time.

iTunes is randomly playing 'Every Shining Time You Arrive' by Sunny Day Real Estate. How appropriate. If you haven't heard it I recomend it. It's like the sound track for this post.

I should get dressed I have to leave for work in fifteen minutes and I'm wearing nothing but a towel and wet dripping hair. Summer today is only 63°f