who let me go?

I wonder why I even bother sometimes. So I finally got sleepy a little after four this morning, I crawled in bed and shut my eyes and then realized I needed to be up at 9:30. I sat up leaned over to grab my alarm clock and realized that I was going to be wake in 5 hours. Doesn't sound all that bad. I've definitly performed with less sleep like 2 or 1 or surprise, surprise none, but that is not the point here. I got up, called my gay-boyfriend Kevin and we mumbled that we were both awake and then hung up. He's coming to pick me up around 11:15ish and we're off to the boring town of Mountain View. Well Lelsie and Lisa have to still wake up. They aren't even awake NOW, and they only have like 20 something minutes to get ready or they're going to be late.

OKAY, we're only going to some stupid festival concert type thing, but still. If you tell someone a time you should stick to it. My gay-boyfriend can't stay all night so we wanted to get there early so he could still get his money's worth. I'm going to be a little bit pissed if they aren't awake when I'm done typing out this post. The sad thing is I can feel myself kind of getting angry already, and I shouldn't. I'm not the one who paid for my ticket. Leslie got me my ticket. So if she holds us up what's the big deal? I don't know.

I'm not sure if San Francisco is wearing me thin or what it is, but something doesn't feel right. I know this city too well now. It's just HOME to me. I miss the excitement I used to feel when I first moved here. I get it when I go to New York, maybe that's why I've been going so often these last few years. If only I didn't have these damned family members that I love too much holding me back. Who knows. :) I love my family. I'm an aunt, and watching my neice grow up is crazy. It's scary to know my LITTLE brother (who's not so little at 6' 5") has a baby girl. And he does all the nasty work like change icky diapers and stuff. EW. I'm definitely not ready for babies. I still think they are a little bit gross, and a hell of a lot of work I'm not cut out for yet. Then there is my grandmother. She's my only grandparent left..er rather.. EVER. Not that the others are dead, just her husband/my grandfather. But my fathers parents could give a rats ass about me, or my brother. My poor dad, got the shitty end of the stick in parents. So babies and old people are holding me back. Maybe I'll move for 6 months only and then come back. I don't know what I'm talking about. I know I'm not going to leave any time soon. the only thing that could persue me otherwise would be for sex love. Or a fucking kick-ass amazing job I couldn't get anywhere else.

Okay I think my serious lack of sunlight is starting to depress me. I work in a basement and my room has no windows. Can it get any more dreary?


I need to go wake up some bitches.