the 4th of July sucks, because I still have to work tomorrow.

Last night I had the most amazing dream. It was so hot. I could have fantasies about that dream for a few months.

I had been listening to Controller. Controller last night as the previous post implies it was on repeat while I was cleaning my room, and figuring out how much I owed for bills and just all the other stupid adult shit I have to do that I loathe. So I'm folding my laundry and dancing around in my room like a stupid girl just doing my thing and I look over and see it's already sometime in the early morning. So I stripped down and crawled into bed. Only I couldn't get comfortable. I kept placing the pillows behind me like they were another body and finally I felt settled in. I must have taken the CD off of repeat because it wasn't on when I woke up this morning. I can't recall. I fell asleep pretty soon after getting comfortable. The next thing I know is music is playing (similar to what I was listening to before falling asleep or perhaps it was the CD still playing?) and I'm in some dark place, some hot, dark building dancing. Dancing harder than I've danced in a long time. Dancing differently than I usually dance, because I'm not dancing by myself. I'm not dancing in a big crowd I'm just dancing and someone else is there but I can't see them I can only feel them. I'm hot and sweaty and there are tiny bits of light reflecting on skin, but I can't really see who it is. BUT.. I know who it is. (I just can't tell YOU.) I couldn't seem to see their face in this dream. It was a first person dream, like I'm really there not just watching. I don't have many of these, usually my dreams are third person. Anyhow it was just intense. I woke up hot and sweaty and had to get a glass of water around 6am. Then I crawled back in bed and realized I would be plagued by this dream all day, and that it was going to suck because I had to be at work and not at home thinking about that...

I can't wait for my hair to grow out, I feel so ugly with it the way it is. I just want everything to be better right now. Is that too much to ask, really? I don't want to work two jobs anymore. I don't want to wait for things to come to me. Although... I can think of a few things that have recently COME TO ME that have been nothing short of amazing. But that is besides the point! I mostly just want to not have to work 2 jobs anymore, well at least not my stupid lame basement dwelling job anymore. Oh yeah, and I don't want to owe anyone or any place or any company money anymore, ever!