She's Hit Every Little Bit,She's Hit, She's Hit, She's Hit!

I felt like being a saint.
I felt like being a savior.
 
I went shopping and I bought lots of non-parishables.  Did you know most non-parishables are carbs?  Not that I care.  I just noticed.  However I packed a big bag of beef jerky in there too.  It's almost 100% protein if you just ignore the high sodium levels but mmmm I <3 beef jerky.
 
---------------new thought----------------
 
I got off work all early like today.  At noon.  A whole hour earlier than usual.  I should have been off at eleven but decided to stick around for another hour just to validate coming in at all.  9am-11am just seems like a waste of getting up early and ready for work but three hours seems worth it.  After I got off work I headed downtown for what was to be another shopping spree.  Nordstroms was having their anniversary sale so I had to go.  I got a cute pair of pink pants.  I'm not a big fan of color.  I like black, and I like navy and I like jeans and I like scarlet red.  That's it.  But these pants are too die for, are cute and look good with all my black tops and sweaters and stilletos so I got them.  I also walked away with a black sweater hoodie.  It's more appropriate for life at the office and for dressing up a swank pair of pink pants or throwing on with a skirt.  The last thing I got there was a black pin-striped shirt.  The collar and cuffs have a super hot pink inside lining giving it just a tiny kick in the ass!  Still work appropriate but slightly devious all at the same time.  After wandering around Nordstroms trying on everything for hours I decided I wanted to buy a new cell phone.  And so I did.  I love it, it's dark dark kind of sparkly navy in the sun but looks black.  I guess I'm a closet goth kid.  I just like black.  it looks good on me.  Plus so much cute stuff comes in black. 
 
I then headed over to the Gap to visit my gay boyfriend Kevin.  I can't believe he works at the fucking Gap!  eh oh well.  He needed a job.  Stupid fucker quit the cushy job he had with me and made my life hell, maybe he deserves this.  He totally broke my heart by quitting on me.  He wouldn't let me quit, giving me a guilt trip about how we have to leave together and shit, but the second he gets pissed off he goes and runs out on me.  He's still one of my best friends.  I don't even mind that he falls asleep in random places with me and snores.  Like at that stupid BFD festival concert.  He just fell asleep on the lawn next to me leaving me sitting there alone and awake.  I've had about 6 people on my bed watching tv in my room and he'll be the only one that falls asleep, and starts to snore. :) I think snoring is kind of cute actually.  I like sleeping next to boys that snore.  Am I wierd?    But he's my platonic love since he doesn't like vagina. 
He's currently fucking my boss for my full time job.  Those two apparently go at it like rabbits and dirty whores.  Oh the stories I have heard.  Oh the stories I want to let my boss know that I know.  I know he knows I know.  He knows Kevin and I are best friends.  He knows.  It's so awesome.
 
too much sex. 
 
Oh but none for me.  I got a request not to turn into a slut like my room mate Parker, who yes has been slutting it up lately.  She admitts it though.  Jessica and I were teasing her today that we could hear her getting it on last night.  That's why I like my room, no one shares a wall with me.  I can be as loud as I want too, if I wanted to be.  BUT back to my point, I couldn't be a slut.  I'm just not that kind of girl.  I'm not delusional, and I don't think that sex = love or that it should be with someone "special" all the time.  The occasional good fuck is awesome, whether it's with someone you love, like, or barely know.  I'm just not into sharing with everyone.  I have a small list, a very small list of people I would do.  I have enough notches on my belt.  I'm at an even number and I don't have room on my hands to count them anymore.  I was a virgin until I was twenty, but I was a really late bloomer.  In fact I didn't stop growing until I was 23.   I lost my virginity to one of my friends that was from NYC, Queens... Bayside to be exact that moved out here (to San Francisco) for the summer.  He lived on Sutter Street and I came to hang out.  He made me dinner, we talked about books and geeky stuff and then we did it, and then we took a shower together and I did other stuff. I got a lot of stuff out of the way in one night.  Then we slept.  I woke up and left early in the morning.  He was my friend and I didn't want to ruin anything.  We were still friends up until two years ago when he disappeared off the face of the earth.  I had gone back to NYC to visit him a few times and he came out here.   It was a nice friendship while it lasted.  Last year I went to a party that just happened to be at that very same house on Sutter street.  Different people lived there.  The room I had lost my virginity in was packed with people dancing and drinking.  The bathroom where I did naughty things in had the longest line ever, I know because I waited in it.  It was so wierd to be back in that house.   It was also the night I found out that Leslie and I had slept with WAY too many of the same people.  We laughed about it.  We made a list.  We weren't good friends at the time, just acquaintences so it was okay. 
 
So yeah I'm not a slut.  I won't ever be a slut.  Only one person thought I was a slut, and that was my friend Mark, but once I explained what really happened he went back to his original thinkings that I wasn't a slut and that some of the boys I did just liked to talk about how I gave awesome head, and wouldn't let it go... even if SEVERAL months had past!  I've had a few slutty moments but they were few and far between. 
 
-----------------new thought--------------------

So tonight was beer night for Jessica and I.  I had a few at home, and then we headed off to my favorite bar the Zeitgeist.  It's not much.  just a simple bar with a pool table and a juke box filled with lots of random music on the inside and a TON of picnic tables out in their back patio area.  It was packed.  We played two rounds of Rummy.  I like to drink beer and play cards.  It's so awesome.  But then I was starting to feel tired and hungry and Jessica was meeting up with one of her quasi-boyfriends and I just felt it was time for me to head home.  So I started walking home alone.  I had a good buzz.  I couldn't get this monologue in my head to stop so I carried on this conversation with myself about stupid stuff like doing laundry in the morning and then changed my mind and decided I'd do it Sunday morning.  Then I thought about how I often am just walking home in the middle of the night all alone.  But San Francisco is so safe.  Well it seems that way to me anyhow.  I take for granted that bad stuff could happen.  I don't care.  I then saw this boy and this girl having fun riding on a single skateboard together and secretly wishing that they'd fall, but they didn't.  I was almost home and I passed the empty can of beer I had set down on the corner on the way to the bar.  I like to drink on the street.  I usually leave my house with a can or a 40oz. of beer in my hand whenever I go out. 
 
I'm still buzzed.  Maybe earlier I was a tad drunk?  I can't tell anymore.  It all feels the same with beer.  Hard liquor I definitely know when I've reached my limit, but beer sometimes tricks me.   I feel tired and sloppy and awake all at the same time and I'm eating these potato chips like nobody's business.  Shocker!  I have to pee.  Beer makes me have to pee more than any other drink in the world besides Tang.  I don't know what it is in these two drinks but my bladder just can't take it.  I can go almost all day with out having to go, but when I drink... it's over.  Especially after you break the seal, then it's really over.  Bathroom line here I come, again and again and again!
 
So I'm sitting at home all alone and still buzzed.  I think I'll put on some pajamas, watch a movie, maybe kill some kittens and then drift off to sleep.