killing time... unwillingly mine

The following is supposedly an actual question
given on a University of Washington chemistry
mid-term. The answer by one student was
so "profound" that the professor shared it with
colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as
well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off
heat), or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands
and heats when it is compressed) or some
variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is
changing in time. So we need to know the rate at
which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at
which they are leaving. I think that we can safely
assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not
leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's
look at the different religions that exist in the world
today. Most of these religions state that if you are
not a member of their religion you will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions
and since people do not belong to more than
one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can
expect the number of souls in Hell to increase
exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of
change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in
Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the
rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the
increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature
and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa
during my Freshman year that, "it will be a cold
day in Hell before I sleep with you", and take into
account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure that
Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has
frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any
more souls and is, therefore, extinct... leaving
only Heaven --- thereby proving the existence of a
divine being --- which explains why, last night,
Teresa kept shouting, "Oh my God!"

THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"