overcoming

I can't focus and am full of anxiety. I nkow the signs now. I know that when I wake up and feel like the day is going to be filled with doom that it's just the little part of my brain transmitting the wrong message at the wrong time. Too bad I can't make it stop. The drugs they gave me (Lexapro) made me sicker than a sick, so I stopped taking them a long time ago. I just forced myself to deal. I know I'm overly anxious because not only are the trigger points in my left shoulder all flared up but I can't sit still to save my life. I get up. I sit down. I walk over to the window and stare out at the golden gate bridge. I look down at the people walking below. I go back and sit down. dick around on the internet. nothing and yet something, it's all the same.

I sat and spun myself around so fast in my chair until I thought I would throw up. I think I still might. But I will hold it until I get to the bathroom. I make the stupidest decisions. I'm okay though. I have been feeling sick for the last 24 hours.