my heart beats only out of habit.

Damnit.

I'm supposed to be in bed. I gave myself a curfew, so I would make sure to get enough sleep however, I'm just not tired. NOPE NOPE NOPE NOT ME! I'm going to make myself though I promise, in fifteen minutes.

So today was my first day at my new job, and well it was a bit busy. And then to make matters worse I went to my other job and it was so busy I almost died! seriously. dead. Okay, I didn't almost die but I felt like it. I just wanted a beer or something to help it all go away. For my new commute I have to take the fucking bus! I don't ride the bus, unless I have too. I take bart or the muni metro but the fucking bus?! no. no way. ::insert disgusted look here:: I have to take not only one bus, but two busses. The first one isn't all that bad. It can get a bit ghetto at times, it goes by my old apartment complex in the Filmore but it's not that bad in the morning commute times. My second bus though which takes me from job A to job B is almost too much to handle. At first it seems normal enough. Pretty empty, with all the uppity union street people riding it. I guess I fit into that catagory and then BAM you're in china town and all the fucking chinese people get on. I know it sounds bad, but these aren't normal american chinese people. These are people living in China town thinking they are still back in the mother land or something. They don't speak english and insist on sitting far away from each other and YELLING in Chi-fucking-nese across you while you're just sitting there praying the Union Square stop comes soon. Oh it gets worse. Yes it does. While they are yelling across you they are blowing their gross smelling breathe on you until you finally have to turn away and wince while trying to take a breath that won't smell of god knows what. Why don't they just sit next to each other? Why do they have to yell. I must sound like a total fucking asshole and usually leave this kind of thought to myself but I just can't, not this time.

I don't have a problem with chinese people. Every other chinese person that doesn't live in China Town is fine. They smell fine, brush their teeth, etc. But these people that live in China Town just don't - and it's pissing me off. Like all those fucking hippies that think that patchouli will drown out their funk. I've had to ask one of those smelly fucks to put their arm down once while riding on bart. What can I say I'm a snob, a bitch I know, I don't care. I hate smelly people. I used to have a sweating problem but I took care of that shit with a little drysol, but even when I was sweating a lot I never, ever, ever smelled! I can not bathe for like three days probably and still not smell. I don't know how they get that way?

On days like this it would be oh-so-nice to come home to someone and just be able to fall asleep in their arms. No talking, no nothing, just gentle embracing and sleep.

oh yeah, my psycho room mate just came home. And I'm pretty sure Parker is going to be our new room mate once he's out of here. I can't wait until the end of the month.